How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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