I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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