is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
