whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
