I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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