Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
