I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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