one might say we're banned from that church
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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