I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
