i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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