I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
