You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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