i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do herpes really smell.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
