i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
