dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
