a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
