how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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