So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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