It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
