im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
