I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
