Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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