can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
did you just send me my own nude
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
