make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
