do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
