I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
