I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and she was petting her beer can
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
