Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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