She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
