he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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