MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize