are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
