Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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