just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
