I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
