i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
