Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry peaches19 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

Fav 11 838 4671
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

Fav 10 3640 1592
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

Fav 1 1370 2614
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

Fav 5 4950 1212
share tweet
(510): View more from California

note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

Fav 4 2615 1233
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

Fav 2 2517 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on

Fav 6 3091 1145
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(574): View more from Indiana

I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.

Fav 7 1358 542
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me

Fav 0 13 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT