She's JV to your varsity
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
