Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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