What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its about making memories worth repressing
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
