We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
