we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
