there was a trapeze. enough said
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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