I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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