She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
