Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
