remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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