people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
