I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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