i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
