you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
