I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
