i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
