yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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