kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
