i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
