I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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