If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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