As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize