Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
