im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
tell me about the eggs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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