Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
