why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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