SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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