I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
